Last Blog at the End of the World...or Until 'The Walking Dead' Re-starts

Welcome, welcome and thank you for coming to the opening day of End Times, Inc. The End Times has turned out to be a glorious money maker for right thinking people, and by that I mean people who go to church. They want YOU to go to church and because THEY go to church have come to believe they are somehow a slightly better person than you. Well, they probably ARE better than you. After all, look at you on Sunday morning, eyes all bleary, hitting the snooze button as if it was Monday, only to crawl from under the covers too late to make it anywhere on time. So you settle for a toaster waffle and never quite exit your grubby little jammies. Time to face facts: God doesn't like you and He thinks you're disgusting. Now, your neighbor...well, well. He's someone to watch! Actually his wife is someone to watch! She throws her husband out of bed, demands the kids get up, has everyone dressed and they even eat breakfast before going. Alright, we all know she cuts corners sometimes, but it's a toaster pastry so HER children are at least getting some desiner fruit in their bellies. But they all make it to church, the kids go to Sunday school where they get taught about Noah and his Ark or Jesus and His lambs from a felt board, then for the sermon the minister teaches all about how God loves a cheerfulgiver, asks if there are any questions, which is followed by twenty minutes of the minister fielding inquiries like, "So, do I give from my gross or my take-home pay?" His wife jabs your neighbor in his side at least five times because he keeps falling asleep, because after all, the music is soft, sweet, and very much in touch with his feminine side, except he doesn't have one. But do you get my drift here? What we want to look at is how much of a role the church has played in setting up the coming apocalypse and to tell you the truth...it's very slly. Well, I suppose this should be one of the few times I actually own up to my ordination. Thank you for coming and we of End Times, Inc. hope to see you again. (Handshake...etc...) Rev. M. L. Archer